THE TEN THINGS TO TEN PEOPLE MEME

[ceasetoexist]

THE RULES:

1. Your character posts ten things they want to say to ten people. They can be CR from this game, CR from previous game, cast mates where they're here or not, whatever. Just ten people they know!

2. Others respond to see if they're one of the numbers or respond to anything your character said. You do the same!

3. That's it time to go!

Comments

[revolutionfalcon]

[This seems a little like trying to dodge the main topic, but he supposes it is relevant. It's been a while since they've seen each other, though, and there's a lingering sadness in his eyes as he considers how to answer.]

She's strong, and resilient. She rarely needed to rely on me, but she knew she could if the situation arose. Even though she was taken in the end, I know she fought back. And I think she's still doing that.

I'm not sure if she looks up to me...or if she'd still look up to me now. But I wouldn't hide what I've done in her absence.

[It was done for the sake of her rescue, after all.]

[ironicoolly]

Alright, I can work with that. Let's test the limits of your ability to avoid "fallout" no matter what the situation, dawg. So say for a minute that you get killed because of a screwup on her part. Maybe you're already a little peeved at her for that, but it ain't like there's a thing you can do about it on account of the whole being dead thing, so your resentment's just sorta building up. Then some time later you're scrabbling up out of the shoddy, shallow hole-in-the-ground she tried to pass off as a decent grave, all "yo sis what the fuck couldn't you have the decency to give a guy a proper burial," and you run into her again.

Say she sees you, looks you dead in the eye. You're expecting a well-reasoned explanation, maybe an apology. Or hell, maybe just a regular ol' sibling hugbump would do 'cause you're just so overjoyed to see her again you're tearing up so much you'd put a guy sitting smack-dab in a cauldron full of onions to shame. But you don't get any of those things. You just get the world's most deplorably-timed confession.

See, those things that you said you liked about her? All lies. She isn't actually any of those things. Not strong, not resilient. Say she's been scared shitless for the past three years and she just wants her out, but she pretended to be stronger than she was on account of the fact that she knows you're big on those qualities. Say she tells you that everything else you know about her is basically a lie too.

Say for a minute that alla this happens to you. Humor me here. Imagine it for a sec.

Are you imagining it? You better have been turning those gears in that head, bro, 'cause I'm not going through this spiel twice. Shit loses its impact the second time around, and then neither of us are getting anywhere.

You ready? You adapt to your role yet? I'm expecting an Oscar-winning performance here, so don't let me down.

So your sister just did all of those things to you. Are you seriously gonna tell me that that wouldn't change your view of her at all? That it's no big deal, and you're not gonna let this get in the way of your interactions with her? And do you really think, if she did find herself in a position like that and she looked up to you, she'd want to risk having to deal with you looking at her differently. Because if you are then you're so full of shit I'm surprised it's not leaking out of your nose, and I'm done with this conversation. Gonna kick it off to the tune of "stay the fuck away from my bro, asswipe."

[revolutionfalcon]

[Shun's look turns incredulous halfway through that, and it's still there by the end, if less pronounced.]

Of course she would have been scared for the last three years. We all were. Strength isn't not being scared, it's about how you handle it. If anything, that would be a more impressive feat.

Maybe it would change my view, and colour our interactions for a while. But I'd feel far better knowing she trusted me enough to tell me that than find out later in some other way, and know she hadn't considered me someone she could confide that in. To me, that would be the far worse outcome.

I think if it came down to it, she would tell me. Because even though I failed her, I don't think I've ever done badly enough by her to make her think I'd do anything but accept it, adapt to it, and move on.

[ironicoolly]

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god, you cannot be seriously giving me this gross, oversimplified horseshit right now. Tell me that isn't a thing that's actually happening after all that I gave you to work with, or I'm gonna have to conclude that you're either being purposefully obtuse for the sake of coming off as mister well-learned on a topic you've only got an elementary understanding of, or you're just a lot more dense than I ever gave you credit for being. Did you actually stop to consider anything that I've laid out for you at all, or was that too much effort to expend when you've basically already made up your mind that there's no way you could possibly be wrong.

Look, I'mma be straight with you. If that's what you're thinking then fuck you, I've got about thirteen more years of experience with this whole bein' a younger sibling business than you do, and you're dead wrong. You've got no clue what it actually means to look up to someone so much you're constantly worrying if you're living up to their expectations of you, or how shitty it feels when you're sure you've let them down.

You think no matter what happened you'd just shrug your shoulders a lil and then everything would go back to normal? Yeah, that sure sounds like a lot of wishful thinking to me. Hope you've got a genie hidden somewhere in that deck of yours. Look, if she's been hiding all of this shit from you for her whole life then surprise, there's a reason for it. It's gonna be what she's been all accustomed to doing by that point, and she sure as hell isn't gonna know how else to act around you. Have you considered at all how that might make her feel every time she has to see your dumb face or hear you open up your mouth to say something else so stupid that it just proves you don't actually have a clue what sortsa feelings she'd actually be struggling with, and did you completely gloss over the bit about how her half of your interactions would be or how she was straight-up responsible for your death. Hate to be the one to break it to you, but getting over something or moving on's not a one-sided deal. It's something that you're both gonna have to figure out if you want to salvage any semblance of your old feelings of camaraderie or whatever.

Do you even know...

[Fuck. Fuck, it hurts to think about, because this isn't even anything close to a hypothetical situation about Ruri anymore. This is the only way he can frame it so that he can bear himself to actually talk about it out loud without flipping the fuck out, but...

God.]

Do you even know what it was like when I met Dirk, or what it's been like or, fuck, how I wish it were anything like what me and my bro were like, because for all the blanket statements you've been spewing out so expeditiously you could provide warmth for every cold kid on the streets, I don't think you've got a clue.

[revolutionfalcon]

Maybe if you talked about you and your problems for once instead of hiding it under fifty damned layers of "irony" and stoic bullshit, I might have some idea!

[He snaps that out before he can restrain himself, and there's a low hiss as he breathes out, pressing one hand to his temple.]

Fine, no, I don't know what it's like. I have no idea how to help you. Is that what you've been wanting to hear? But you're not even willing to try. You don't know how your brother will react, and yet you're ready to not even make the effort to bring it up to him. You just assume that he'll write you off as a lost cause, but I don't think that's him talking - or any more than the part of him that caused you to be how you are now.

You're projecting onto this. You expect him to write you off because you don't feel you have worth, you don't feel you can live up to him. And that's what made your encounter with that other version of your brother so hard, wasn't it? Because he didn't react the way you expected, and it forced you to rethink what you thought you knew.

So maybe I am wrong, but this goes two ways. The way you're handling this isn't smart or healthy, it's just going to force you to be something you're not for the sake of fulfilling an ideal you think will please him the most.

[ironicoolly]

[GUESS WHO JUST HIT SO CLOSE TO HOME THAT SAID HOME IS NOW A SMOLDERING WRECK?

He doesn't say anything to that at first. His mind's just grabbing at pieces, trying to keep itself coherent and whole and not a nervous goddamn wreck because this is all shit he's been too scared to admit to even himself, and Shun's hitting him in the face with it and oh god why is this happening.

He spends a good half-minute grinding his teeth to dust before he finally replies. He sounds tired and defeated when he does.]

So then. Neither one of us knows a thing about the dude in question or how he'd react if I started dropping this shit on him like the world's lamest beat, but you still expect me to take that risk. Ruin the only chance I've got at making things okay between me and at least one version of my bro again.

That's what you're saying I should do.

[revolutionfalcon]

If making things "okay" between you comes at the cost of your health, and forces you to keep faking a straight face for him while trying to hide all of this, then yes, I'm telling you to "ruin" that chance. Repairing your relationship with someone shouldn't come at a price that steep.

It's clearly not an easy choice to make, but I'm more concerned about what will happen if you don't. You're already stretched to breaking point.

And if you're trying to clear things up with one version of him, I think the one here has more time for you than you've been willing to accept.

[At least, he'd thanked Shun for keeping an eye on Dave in his absence. It wasn't much, but then, that hadn't really been their main topic at the time.]