THE FORCED HONESTY/ASK ME ANYTHING MEME

[ceasetoexist]

THE RULES:
-Post with your character
-Others ask your characters questions (ICly or OOCly)
-Your character has to answer whatever they're asked completely honestly!
-That's it! Them's the rules!

Comments

[ryuusei_subaru]

I don't think that's true. You've already accomplished something, haven't you?

[It's obvious what he means. Forging those bonds. Leaving a legacy for yourself in the memories of others. Isn't that something worthwhile?]

[ceasetoexist]

No. Others accomplished it, I did nothing, and the fact that I'm the one who's here and got to survive while the people who actually did something are probably dead and gone pisses me off.

Anything I accomplished was worthless, especially without any of them here.

[ryuusei_subaru]

[Somehow, he can't refute that. Then...]

Then, accepting that you can't accomplish anything else is an insult to them, isn't it?

[ceasetoexist]

You think I don't know that? I'm trying to do what I can but I know I'll probably screw it up in the end. The best I can hope for is doing a little bit of good while hoping others either just ignore or hate me at the end of everything.

[ryuusei_subaru]

Well, going at it with that kind of attitude won't help! And I bet you know it, too!

[ceasetoexist]

I don't care. It's for the best.

[ryuusei_subaru]

How can giving up be for the best?

[ceasetoexist]

I'm not giving up. I just told you I'm doing what I can to help. I'm just preparing for how things are going to end up being anyway.

[ryuusei_subaru]

Talking like that, you might as well be! Besides, you don't even know what'll happen!

[ceasetoexist]

You don't know a friggin' thing. And I have experience. There's only one place I was ever welcome or will be. I'm not going to kid myself on that.

[ryuusei_subaru]

...What even makes you so sure about that?

[ceasetoexist]

Like I said I have experience.

[ryuusei_subaru]

...And you're gonna let those experiences color your future, too?

[Both the good and bad...?]

[ceasetoexist]

That's how every human lives, past or present. So, yeah. I am.

[ryuusei_subaru]

...You're not wrong about that.

[Still...]

I still think that you can do better, though.

[ceasetoexist]

I don't.

[As much as he'd like to.]

[ryuusei_subaru]

Mm. Maybe not now, but some day...

[ceasetoexist]

...I was a lot worse, a while back, than how I am now.

I'm pretty sure where I'm at? About as far as I go.

[ryuusei_subaru]

Well, like I said before: you never know. If you've improved as much as you say, that's a step forward to that future.

[ceasetoexist]

I think it is the future. I can feel it. I can try.

But there's little point to trying without them here.

[ryuusei_subaru]

...But they are here. With you, I mean.

[Sounds like he's trying to say something else, anyway, if his fidgeting means anything.]

[ceasetoexist]

Yeah. I get that they're a part of me.

But it's hard to settle for that.

[ryuusei_subaru]

...Yeah. Nothing really replaces that hole they leave behind in your heart. It's up to us to fill it...

[Light laughter.]

Even then, it's never gone.

[ceasetoexist]

I won't let you.

[ryuusei_subaru]

...What?